closet-keys:

hotcommunist:

dare-i-say-asexual:

why do lesbians always give their gfs such weird compliments? today i asked my gf how i looked in a new outfit and she said “like a cryptid on the moors babe” and idk what to do with that but i love it

because we know what women want??? next question

the other day in the kitchen, my gf told me “you have very convenient ears” and it was incredibly sweet but literally impossible to explain why

selenaestella:

*deep sigh* i wish some distant relative of mine would leave me an old farm in their will so i could fuck off to the countryside and save the harvest goddess

cursedcatimages:

STEVE STOP

fortheladyoftheseafoam:

deathpov:

not to be nsfw but can someone hold my hand and do the thumb rub thing

not to be super nsfw but can someone let me hold their hand so I can do the thumb rub thing?

thickness-protection-program:

hummingbirdcas:

ihatewhites:

Anyway… 2019 is about being bisexual and sexy

Welcome twenty bi-teen

Welcome 20 bi-teen

topmeladies:

When i defend lgbt rights and someone goes ‘are you gay or something’

frogparty:

yea im gay. yea i only listen to the song tainted love (1981) on repeat. no i dont have any problems. siri send post

actualmrsbluelion:

can you feel it…..soon………..the final hours between 20gayteen and 20biteen………………the gay solstice when we are at our most powerful…………..

keysmashgnc:

mlmoso:

gay culture is never having a New Years kiss

gay culture is also having elaborate extremely specific fantasies about a new years kiss

malglories:

me, writing, throwing commas around like i’ve just won the lottery and i’m exulting in my winnings, needlessly, passionately, with no thought to the consequences,

gayrados:

theaustinstollhaus:

chefpyro:

wish pokemon was real so i could move to the country and farm mareep in peace

They’re called… sheep…

can your sheep do THIS [gets electrocuted]

beatlesweatles:

sneakyfeets:

sneakyfeets:

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims: 

The wife:

The mom: